Senior Year

God! I haven’t been able to post anything about my feelings or even read. I hate senior year in my school they make me do a bunch of stuff.


Awkward Encounters Coming SOON


I wanted to tell you guys an embarrassing story of my life…

It happened when I was in the 5th grade and I was in Rebecca’s house playing with her and her cousins. His older cousin left and we started playing another game. I will call her cousin Andres… well there we were, Rebecca, Andres and myself playing when suddenly Rebecca’s nana asked Andres if he liked me… He nodded and blushed… I was awkwardly standing there wanting to leave so badly. He was looking down… He was I don’t know 6 while I was 9. Since then all his family and Rebecca’s family had bothered me with him… or him with me. Well I don’t know but still it makes me feels awkward.

We had seen each other and it is still awkward still we are friends. We hang out and all but never alone, because everybody still bothers us with each other. He doesn’t live in the same city as me but when he comes to visit, we almost always see each other. I have never visited his city because it would be awkward.

So, Rebecca invited me to his city and I want to go… I will go. But we will be staying at his place… currently he is 13 and I’m sixteen, and I know they will bother me and I will feel out of place but I don’t know… I want to meet his city.

Funny Fact I was going to celebrate his birthday in another place with Rebecca but I refused to go because I didn’t want to go… And his grandmother found him smoking with his friends the day of his birthday… HE IS FREAKING THIRTEEN. So I’m happy I didn’t go.

I have never done it and never will I.

Must read.

Here are a few books that I recommend you to read.

  • The Throne of Glass series by Sarah J. Maas – It’s not complete yet, but it’s worth reading.
  • Paper Towns by John Green
  • The Mortal Instruments Series by Cassandra Clare
  • The Infernal Devices by Cassandra Clare
  • Just one day by Gayle Forman
  • Anna and the French kiss by Stephanie Perkins
  • If I Stay and Where She Went by Gayle Forman.
  • Since you’ve been gone by Morgan Matson
  • To All the Boys I’ve loved before by Jenny Han
  • The Divergent Triology and Four by Veronica Roth
  • The Hunger Games triology by Suzanne Collins.

I will keep on posting more and more. However not here but in other entries.

Bye. Recommend me some books.

Kisses. M

Economic Crisis

So, actually my family and myself have been going through a lot. There is a huge change in my life. We are facing some problems with money. I told my parents that I could like sell my laptop but they refused.  The problem started about 4 years ago, my uncle had a lot of debts and my dad being nice and all that crap sign for him saying that he will take care of his debts. Their relationship is not great, I don’t even know if they are in speaking terms right now… However, his debts are making us face big problems. My dad wants to sell the house but my mom refuses because then we won’t have a place to live. My dad said that maybe a smaller house but still I don’t want to and my mom doesn’t want to.  I’m starting to think about selling my books and giving up on my belly dance classes even if I love them a lot. My school is expensive but it’s my senior year and I told them that I will get a scholarship to get into an university. I don’t want to study the things that that university provides, however I’m making an effort. I don’t ask for books anymore, I ask for little things. I asked my aunt for books cause I know she eventually buy them for me, but now I don’t know if I should ask for them because eventually I’m considering selling them. I HATE THE PRESIDENT.

My crappy life. 

I’m currently sweating because it’s so hot but I’m not even considering turning on the A/C, I know that my parents are focusing more in our comfort than the crisis. They want the best for us like all the parents want. But I always tell my mom that I don’t want to go to prom if it’s too expensive but still she wants me to go.  My dad is always preoccupied and that kind of bothers me because there is nothing I can do. I even told them that we should like sell my bed and all the stuff that I don’t use but they still refused.  My mom just keeps telling me to pray and to have faith, even if I did it… I don’t think it will work… I don’t think that God will help us because I started praying, because I never did it… So maybe he will think that it’s because of necessity and not about love. I do believe don’t misunderstand me… but I don’t think that I should share my thoughts about God to be a good believer or to read all the bible. I just believe, it’s easy as it sounds. 

Maybe we will keep moving forward but it will be a difficult path. 

I’m a freaking guard right now.

On Tuesday around 3:30AM someone tried to open the car and the alarm went on so my dad shouted “YOU ASSHOLE” it was a man and he left in a taxi(? Whatever. We have security cameras here and my dad couldn’t sleep because he was worried about the car. Of course we went to the police and showed them the video. But it’s still something to be worried about. Well my dad didn’t sleep yesterday and kept looking at the cameras. 

So I felt bad and now I told him “Go to sleep, if I see anything I will tell you” but I’m so tired. Still I want him to sleep cause it’s not healthy for him to no sleep. Maybe you guys, can make me feel better. 

Fuck you. Things everywhere. I think I will watch something on Netflix or keep reading however I don’t know if I’m going to make it. 

I am watching the cameras and all but I get bored. I’m in my parents’ room, they’re sleeping and I’m just waiting. 

My reading story.

I think I’m very exciting for this because I’ve never thought of becoming one.

All started when I was in 4rd grade and they made us read a book in my Spanish class called “Sangre de Campeon”… I’m an Hispanic girl of 16 years old so it was easy. But I inmediatly fell in love with the book, I even bought it and bought a lot of books from that author my mom loved that I was reading cause I was a very shy girl and she hoped that reading would help me to get out of my shell… It didn’t.

My ‘friends’ called me a ‘nerd’ because I got good grades and still read books, it actually did affect me. Because for me it was difficult to make friends so I got this ‘Best friend’ that always treated me like shit. I will call her in this blog Rebecca. OK, so I met Rebecca in the 1st grade and I don’t know why but she was this cool girl that I wanted to be around. I even copied her in her toys and all of that crap. She called me a ‘nerd’ and I think that affected me more than anything because I was kind of trying to please her, so I stopped reading but my grades were very important for me so I kept doing homework and studying. In 5th grade there was another girl in our group, she called me a ‘nerd’ too. So I thought.  This is enough, cool people don’t get good grades.  That was the worst thing that I could have done.

I never thought that they were being mean because they were my friends, but they did make me felt like shit. I even cried alone in my home because I felt that I wasn’t good enough. I kept fighting to become Rebecca’s best friend, when I was in 7th grade I started to get out of my shell. I even got a ‘boyfriend’,we were in an on and off relationship but still I cared for him. I was always the one that broke up the relationship. Like bitch I was just 11 years old. We just told each other Girlfriend and Boyfriend, we never kissed or something. I still got a crush on him until 9th grade. In 10th grade I started to read again with Twilight. I hated it. Not because it was a bad book, but because I couldn’t focus on it and loved it. It was a great book. I just couldn’t deal with it because I was so focused on getting good grades again and it was difficult because I wasn’t used to study anymore. I hadn’t got a boyfriend since the first one. I haven’t kiss anyone. So I’m a senior now and nobody seems to care.

Last year someone recommend me the Hush Hush Saga and I read the four books in 2 days. I was so into it. I don’t think that it was because it was a good book, I think it was because I missed reading so damn much. Rebecca now started to read and she had read more books than I have but I still read. I have read so many books by now. I’m now reading City of Glass. But reading is just one thing that helps me relax and makes me think about a lot of stuff.

I’m in vacations in this moment and I’ve read 2 books per week. It is awesome I’m still getting used to reading. My dad now tell me that I’m weird for reading that much. But its fun and I don’t mind. I have became someone that is comfortable with herself. I think that growing up being bullied and never noticed it was something awful in my life but still it helped me getting trough so much. I am still friends with Rebecca and the others that called me ‘Nerd’. Rebecca is actually my best friend, but that is other story. She apologized for being a bitch to me and all of that.

Reading gives us someplace to go when we have to stay where we are.

I have an advice, like I’m still introvert but there is nothing wrong with it. My mom is proud of myself and even if she doesn’t tell I know that she wants me to be more extrovert but she doesn’t push me.

Last, I want to recommend THRONE OF GLASS to everyone. It’s so great. Just go and read it and if you have read it already… read it again. It’s so good.

Exam .

I’m freaking out, I have an important exam today and my ride hasn’t arrived yet.

Dear aunt, please don’t go away again cause my ride always come late. If I don’t make it, I’M GOING TO FAIL AGAIN. Fuck me.

Ps. It’s an exam in my dance classes.